They are Bestest, best people on this whole wide world to Me. *in a little girl's voice* They are always there, no matter what. They always think the world of their daughter, no matter how badly I behave, they are still willing to forgive me and love me at the end of the day. They are always willing to listen to me, chattering away for hours and hours, about my worries, my insecurities, my musings...anything that comes to my mind, hardly complaining even i get irritatting. They are willing to spoil me, buy me whatever things that i want. They respect my decision, my choice even if it is not what they wanted for me. They are happy when I am happy. They try to make me happy when I am sad. They give me courage and support in whatever that I want to achieve.
Mum, I miss the times when:
-we hung out on the swing in my garden at night, sitting there in the silent night under the starry sky...just enjoying each other's company without talking much
-we made cookies together, me trying to press the dough into some semblance of the shape you wanted. and you always always can get it into the perfect shape
-i'll go to the kitchen and steal the food whilst you are still cooking dinner..hehe
-we go shopping in KL together, when you'll accompany me into every shop and give me advice on what to buy and what not to buy. you are still the only person that will tell me honestly if my bum looks Huge.. *grins* and we will shop shop and shop till late at night and i am still amazed at how much energy you have!!
-you'll buy me supper when i am burning the midnight oil
Dad, I miss the times when:
-you'll fetch me home from school and we'll go for some nice lunch and i'll tell you everything that happen to me that day. every other 5 minutes, i'll ask you whether you are still listening..*grins*
-you'll wake up from your nap and go out in your motorbike and buy us some afternoon snacks which I am Not suppose to tell mum about it..hehe
-you'll come out of your room in the middle of the night and give me a pat on the back when i am burning the midnight oil
-we'll go out at night to buy pirated vcd's and buy supper
-you'll try to get me out of the bed every morning to go jogging with you by pulling my leg out of the covers..sometimes i manage to wake up, sometimes i don't.
-you'll tell me about you life in the past and all the things that i still have to learn from you
even though i am sometimes aloof, sometimes stressed, sometimes misbehaving, sometimes self-centered that i wonder how could Mum & Dad still love me...but Mum & Dad still do.. and i realize how so very Lucky i truly Am..
to me, parental love is the most pure, most self-sacrificing. they do not get to choose the kind of person that their daughter/son are but they still love them no matter what. for their daugther/son, they are willing to give up everything and they are even sadder than we are when we are sad. and they derive so much joy just by being with us. in one of my flights of fancy, i wonder about how i'd be if i become a mother and i realized that i'd love my kid (preferably a daughter *wink*) so so so so very much and would give everything that i have got to him/her. i came across this blog today and it is written by the Parents to their daughter and she's only 1 years old now.. and it's so..so sweet.. The world according to Ayjia,(http://ayjia.blogspot.com/) ~enjoy~
I am Not homesick, just parentsick..*grins*
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Saturday, March 19, 2005
Clubbing
I hate it when:
-random guys put their hands on me
-random guys start to talk to me
-random guys hitting on me
-random guys checking me out
*makes face*
I just enjoy going to the club and dancing to good music e.g. R&B, hip hop, some good cheese and dressing up in nice clothes. basically just dance & enjoy myself!!!
without all the added unwanted attention..
sigh.
and sometimes thinking back, it's so hilarious. if some guy comes up to me and my friend, i'll pull her away and we'll move towards the other end of the dance floor..far ..far away. and there was this one time when my friends and me moved to and fro the whole dance floor several times for half the night before settling in some comfortable spot to dance. plus there are always the random elbows that moves dangerously to your face/head because the angmors are so tall and i am so short...and there'll surely by the "nudgers", people who had to push through to get from one end to the other end.. they'll push/shove/whatever just to get through... then last but not least, the pulsating/shaking bodies that will push and push till you barely have space to dance..
but then, clubbing won't be fun unless the music is really loud and the crowd is comfortably crowded.. meaning packed enough for the partying atmosphere but Not so packed till you have no breathing/dancing space..
To have my cake and eat it Too:
- go with a REALLY BIG group of friends and occupy most of the dance flour so that people will dance around your group instead of shoving you elsewhere. there'll be less nudging and no "migration" during the course of the night
-go with some guys so that if some random guy starts dancing with you and you don't like it, you'll just turn towards your friend. no needless "migration" as well.
-find out when the club will play your favourite music and when Most of the student population will be there
As with everything else in Life, there'll be some Great clubbing nites and some "duh" clubbing nites...i'll just have to learn how to pick my nites.. *grins*
-random guys put their hands on me
-random guys start to talk to me
-random guys hitting on me
-random guys checking me out
*makes face*
I just enjoy going to the club and dancing to good music e.g. R&B, hip hop, some good cheese and dressing up in nice clothes. basically just dance & enjoy myself!!!
without all the added unwanted attention..
sigh.
and sometimes thinking back, it's so hilarious. if some guy comes up to me and my friend, i'll pull her away and we'll move towards the other end of the dance floor..far ..far away. and there was this one time when my friends and me moved to and fro the whole dance floor several times for half the night before settling in some comfortable spot to dance. plus there are always the random elbows that moves dangerously to your face/head because the angmors are so tall and i am so short...and there'll surely by the "nudgers", people who had to push through to get from one end to the other end.. they'll push/shove/whatever just to get through... then last but not least, the pulsating/shaking bodies that will push and push till you barely have space to dance..
but then, clubbing won't be fun unless the music is really loud and the crowd is comfortably crowded.. meaning packed enough for the partying atmosphere but Not so packed till you have no breathing/dancing space..
To have my cake and eat it Too:
- go with a REALLY BIG group of friends and occupy most of the dance flour so that people will dance around your group instead of shoving you elsewhere. there'll be less nudging and no "migration" during the course of the night
-go with some guys so that if some random guy starts dancing with you and you don't like it, you'll just turn towards your friend. no needless "migration" as well.
-find out when the club will play your favourite music and when Most of the student population will be there
As with everything else in Life, there'll be some Great clubbing nites and some "duh" clubbing nites...i'll just have to learn how to pick my nites.. *grins*
Sunday, March 13, 2005
random scribblings..
i've always been an open book, telling people around me what i feel, what i think about anything, everything at most moments....well, amy and hoon shien can attest to that..hehe..
suddenly, i realized that it's getting harder and harder for me to express myself to others. sometimes, facing the blank post, i'd scribble something then delete it because i'm quite uncomfortable with the idea of baring myself..thus and therefore, there are many more pictures in my blog than there are long posts. sometimes, i'd just rather keep my thoughts to myself of stating it out. only a very very big issue would propel me to state my comments on it.. it has come to such extent that my coll medics thought that i am quiet.. hahaha.. that's quite disconcerting because i've never been quiet in my whole life. i've always been opinionated and quite vocal as well..
i wonder why the sudden change? sign of growing up or sign of inconfidence?
somethings are better left unsaid, i agree. saying it would just make the situation worse, if you can save yourself that, may as well not say anything. and some thoughts you just want to keep to yourself to savour and think and re-think. there's no need to tell someone what you think if it's irrevelent to what's happening at that moment. i used to think that if you Have to tell people what you observed or think though it's irrelevent, you are just inconfident of what you've thought and that you wanted affirmation that what you think is correct. and some feelings you just want to keep inside you instead of hashing it all out e.g homesickness, worries, anxiety. maybe it's because i feel that i should give myself a chance to deal with my feelings and problems first before letting other people know. besides, sometimes the feelings are so illogical that looking back, you'll feel like an idiot for having expressed that..or maybe i'm just deathly afraid of being judged now for whatever i say or do? hmm...maybe.. maybe keeping something to yourself and making a decision for yourself, you save yourself the scrutiny that you are subjected to if you had expressed it.
having said that, it's an irony that i'm posting this on my blog..*grins*
suddenly, i realized that it's getting harder and harder for me to express myself to others. sometimes, facing the blank post, i'd scribble something then delete it because i'm quite uncomfortable with the idea of baring myself..thus and therefore, there are many more pictures in my blog than there are long posts. sometimes, i'd just rather keep my thoughts to myself of stating it out. only a very very big issue would propel me to state my comments on it.. it has come to such extent that my coll medics thought that i am quiet.. hahaha.. that's quite disconcerting because i've never been quiet in my whole life. i've always been opinionated and quite vocal as well..
i wonder why the sudden change? sign of growing up or sign of inconfidence?
somethings are better left unsaid, i agree. saying it would just make the situation worse, if you can save yourself that, may as well not say anything. and some thoughts you just want to keep to yourself to savour and think and re-think. there's no need to tell someone what you think if it's irrevelent to what's happening at that moment. i used to think that if you Have to tell people what you observed or think though it's irrelevent, you are just inconfident of what you've thought and that you wanted affirmation that what you think is correct. and some feelings you just want to keep inside you instead of hashing it all out e.g homesickness, worries, anxiety. maybe it's because i feel that i should give myself a chance to deal with my feelings and problems first before letting other people know. besides, sometimes the feelings are so illogical that looking back, you'll feel like an idiot for having expressed that..or maybe i'm just deathly afraid of being judged now for whatever i say or do? hmm...maybe.. maybe keeping something to yourself and making a decision for yourself, you save yourself the scrutiny that you are subjected to if you had expressed it.
having said that, it's an irony that i'm posting this on my blog..*grins*
Friday, March 11, 2005
Spring is in the air..
bright sunlight before 7am, bright sunlight after 6pm..
warmer, time to shed those heavy coats..
beautiful blue skys and puffy clouds
daffodils and tulips blooming in the gardens
fat pigeon sitting on the tree outside my window
oh...it's so beautiful..
Why do my heart sigh?
sighs.
warmer, time to shed those heavy coats..
beautiful blue skys and puffy clouds
daffodils and tulips blooming in the gardens
fat pigeon sitting on the tree outside my window
oh...it's so beautiful..
Why do my heart sigh?
sighs.
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Happy WOMEN'S Day!!!!!!!!!!
-to celebrate us being women
-to free us from oppresion of society's norms, obligations, standards
-to raise concerns about women violence
-to provide more resources for women seeking help e.g abuse, single mothers
-etc..
in my ideal world, women can walk in the streets at night without feeling afraid. women can walk into a bar full of men without being harrased. women are allowed to achieve what they want, in any profession even that dominated by men. women can get the same amount of pay for the same job as men. women are given the same opportunities to climb the corporate ladder-no more old boys club. women are respected in the working world and sexual harrassment; verbal or otherwise are stopped. single fathers are frowned upon by the society as much as single mothers are. women do not suffer in silence of domestic abuse. men are not exempted from their crimes just because they are men. genocide is stopped. women are empowered to voice their concerns and to speak against the hurt inflicted on them.
Yes, we do want to scale new heights and let the sky be the limit. celebrate equality between men and women. and we want to appreciated for being who we are...even with our monthly pms, depression, fickle-mindedness, shopping, gossiping with other women, nagging...
we do still love men.
but stop hurting us: grandmothers,mothers,wives,sisters,girlfriends,daughters.
-to free us from oppresion of society's norms, obligations, standards
-to raise concerns about women violence
-to provide more resources for women seeking help e.g abuse, single mothers
-etc..
in my ideal world, women can walk in the streets at night without feeling afraid. women can walk into a bar full of men without being harrased. women are allowed to achieve what they want, in any profession even that dominated by men. women can get the same amount of pay for the same job as men. women are given the same opportunities to climb the corporate ladder-no more old boys club. women are respected in the working world and sexual harrassment; verbal or otherwise are stopped. single fathers are frowned upon by the society as much as single mothers are. women do not suffer in silence of domestic abuse. men are not exempted from their crimes just because they are men. genocide is stopped. women are empowered to voice their concerns and to speak against the hurt inflicted on them.
Yes, we do want to scale new heights and let the sky be the limit. celebrate equality between men and women. and we want to appreciated for being who we are...even with our monthly pms, depression, fickle-mindedness, shopping, gossiping with other women, nagging...
we do still love men.
but stop hurting us: grandmothers,mothers,wives,sisters,girlfriends,daughters.
Sunday, March 06, 2005
Biting off more than I can chew?
Amidst all the activities, the university work lies lurking quietly behind the background. there's the daily rush of practicals, labs, dissections, supervisions, essays and reports to rush, and loads of reading to catch up on and tests coming up this week and next..and in May will the be the dreaded Tripos....
lined up this week, I've got Homerton formal and Caius formal, perhaps a Cumas meeting coming up (?), an MCQ mock test this friday, ISBM and MSOC next friday whose passing marks is a bloody high 70%......stooooooopid..
I' ve just got back from Oxford as mentioned earlier, tired. I've just played netball in Oxford, something I played a while back when I was in secondary school.. *hazy memories* not knowing what to do, I just played after refreshing my memories of the rules there and then....well it didn't go very well.. effort was made in running around and jumping up and down to block the ball but tactic was poor... all in all, it's a good game and it piqued my interest in netball!! yesterday, i cycled to Girton to a swim even though I haven't cycled in years and subsequently fell of my bike 4 times..well on soft grass..so it's not too bad..haha..i realized that i am doing a lot more things that i never have the nerve to try before and I am just basically feeling my way around it like the blind..telling myself that it'll be ok and that it'll turn out all right, being slightly blindingly optimistic i think...
it's all very exciting and exactly what I wanted out of my student life..to basically try as much things as possible..
but.....considering that my work is suffering.. i really wonder if I have bitten off more than i can chew?
sighs.
lined up this week, I've got Homerton formal and Caius formal, perhaps a Cumas meeting coming up (?), an MCQ mock test this friday, ISBM and MSOC next friday whose passing marks is a bloody high 70%......stooooooopid..
I' ve just got back from Oxford as mentioned earlier, tired. I've just played netball in Oxford, something I played a while back when I was in secondary school.. *hazy memories* not knowing what to do, I just played after refreshing my memories of the rules there and then....well it didn't go very well.. effort was made in running around and jumping up and down to block the ball but tactic was poor... all in all, it's a good game and it piqued my interest in netball!! yesterday, i cycled to Girton to a swim even though I haven't cycled in years and subsequently fell of my bike 4 times..well on soft grass..so it's not too bad..haha..i realized that i am doing a lot more things that i never have the nerve to try before and I am just basically feeling my way around it like the blind..telling myself that it'll be ok and that it'll turn out all right, being slightly blindingly optimistic i think...
it's all very exciting and exactly what I wanted out of my student life..to basically try as much things as possible..
but.....considering that my work is suffering.. i really wonder if I have bitten off more than i can chew?
sighs.
Trinity Formal (3rd March)
Trinity formal (3rd March) clockwise fr left: Tsing Ling, Chee Lup, Sinyi, Me. happy wine-RS!!!!
well..red wine this time..clockwise from left: Chee Lup, Irene, Sinyi, Me.
the week after the toiling for Malaysian Food feast was a lazy week filled with staying in and basically enjoy my room without worrying about the feast..ahh..bliss. then came the Trinity formal..thanks Piing Chau. The food was Fanstatic.....except for the dessert *makes face* but the compensatory dessert from Sains made up for it...hehe.. well, every formal wouldn't be complete without any wine, red or white.. well we got both, as evidently seen. Finally got a chance to try port but we made a mistake and bought a lousy port... so I didn't really like it very much..apparently it's a female drink as well, meaning that it's sweet. in the same sense that Baileys, Sheridan, Malibu are girl drinks as well..I finally came to a conclusion, if I don't get anything out of my Cambridge experience [touch wood!], at least I learnt how to cook for 200 ppl and got an alcohol education..*wink*
I've just got back from Oxford today but I have no pics to post up as yet..I'd still prefer Cambridge over Oxford though even Oxford have bigger colleges, bigger streets, more shopping area [they even have Zara!! *scandalised*], better selection of food chinese, western or otherwise..
Does no place like home ring a bell? i realized that i've grown quite attached to Cambridge and over the course of 6 months, it has become my home. All the small lanes with bicycles, and squashed-up buildings near each other, all the small pattiseries to get sinful pastries like Nadia's, Presto, midnight jaunt out to Gardies, jogging along the river, meeting up with Sinyi for lunch dates have become a norm and something to look forward to.
And my room has become my haven.. coming back to my quiet room at the end of a busy day, I'll just sit on my chair and stare outside to my window and recollect myself. peace.quiet moment. silence. *contented*
Malaysian Food Feast (27th Feb)
Malaysian Food Feast: Cooking for 200 people is not an easy job..especially 200 HUNGRY Malaysians. *wipes brow*
The amount of food prepared and the HUGE pots of FOOD which we started preparing for a day before...(27th Feb)
Another evidence of the HUGE amount of food prepared.
the EATERS.... insert *scary musics*..hehehe
The cutters/cooks/servers/crowd control/performaers during the feast. The commitee members:Irene, Sinyi, Me
HUGE sigh of relief that the whole adventure which started in November ended finally with a BANG!!! Thankfully.. *smiles* Started coming up with the menu in November and so started the flurry of requests to bring food back from Malaysia during the Michaelmas break. In January, it intensified with the search for the puuuurr-fect venue which is a total headache. places that we wanted at the dates that we wanted were unavailable and there were lots of moments of panic over MSN and email...before we finally got the BESTEST venue ever. New Hall with the fanstatic kitchens, wonderful helpers, tables, chairs and tabl clothe prepared for our usage all without a penny.. *rubbing hands with glee*
Well, we couldn't risk feeding people with our amateur cooking w/o testing them out first and the ex-comm was the test subjects..the verdict? the food is dee-licious!! with better confidence but still with much trepidation, we started to prepare cooking for 200 people. There are 13 dishes that we are preparing for and there were 10 of us in the committee cooking. well, you can do the maths..
It was an exciting, exciting week and even more exciting weekend. Started off the week with the ordering food from Sains, walking up to New Hall to check the kitchens and having last minute adjustments with amt of food/ppl/ticketing.
Saturday: carrying HUGE-ASS pots from the halal shop and SHIT-loads of meat to New Hall. the dicing/slicing/marinating/washing/agar-agar cooking started and ended with a silenced kompang practice. *wistful smile*
Sunday: THE day.. pumped full with coffee, raring to go!! started to cook..cook...cook..cook...in batches. adrenaline rush nearing the feast, rushing around transporting/arranging food/gathering the workers around. Loads of early guest helped out. *bows and blows kisses* you all have my eternal gratitude for the many many times of re-arranging the food around the loooong table. 7.45pm; the doors are open! Before the EATERS started, we had a kompang performance with a slight twist..*grins* rmb the Malaysian Idol guard advertisement?
YiJin: "Young Man, What are you doing here?"
Yi Jin: "Young Man." Kompang accompaniment.
The song continues [I'll get the lyrics sometime and post it up.. it's quite hilarious!!] and ended with " Mari Makan". Then began the non-stop serving, running around to get things done. quite easily, the food was finished quite soon even the lamb kurma and chi kut teh in the HUGE-ASS pots.. *awed at the eating ability of Malaysians, stands respected* and there were lots of pats on the back on the wonderful quality of food....*cat with cream smile*
hahahs..maybe we are all closeted world-class chefs..*arches eyebrow*
well, we do have to Thank Brahim, A1 and Adabi for their wonderful contributions.. *grins*
It was tiring and exhausting. But, it was fun, exciting.. err...well perhaps not the washing up part but you get what I mean..*wink*
glad..
Cumsa Ball (12th Feb)
with the rest of Sidney Medics before the Cumsa ball, coincidentally there was Medics dinner that night as well which I could not attend. =( from left to right: Vicki, Emma, Marie, Manpreet, Alex, Laura, Jon.
Cumsa Ball (11th Feb) from left to right: Cindy, Vanessa, Me, YiJin, Alvin, Sean, Suresh in the front
Our table 4, fr left to right:Chee How, Edwin, Suresh, Sean, Alvin, YiJin, Me,Cindy, Irene, Katie
The hamper which our table WON by bidding!! yummilicious food from Cho Mee *GRINS*
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