Note from supervision about essay on T cells and B cells *immunobiology*
Please read some English Literature to improve your writing style. Do make sentences with stonger impact.
Please excuse me now as I have to go read up on Shakespeare.
xoxo
Monday, January 30, 2006
Sunday, January 22, 2006
These are the thoughts - Alanis Morissette
These are the thoughts that go through my head
In my backyard on a sunday afternoon
When i have the house to myself and i am not
Expending all that energy on fighting with my boyfriend
Is he the one that i will marry?
Why is it so hard to be objective about myself?
Why do i feel cellularly alone?
Am i supposed to live in this crazy city?
Can blindly continued fear-induced regurgitated
Life- denying tradition be overcome?
Where does the money go that i send to those in need?
If we have so much why do some people have nothing still?
Why do i feel frantic when i first wake up in the morning?
Why do you say you are spiritual
Yet you treat people like shit?
How can you say you're close to god
yet you talk behind my back as though i am not
A part of you?
Why do i say i'm fine
When it's obvious i'm not?
Why's it so hard to tell you what i want?
Why can't you just read my mind?
Why do i fear that the quieter i am the less you will listen?
Why do i care whether you like me or not?
Why is it so hard for me to be angry?
Why is it such work to stay conscious and so easy to get stuck
And not the other way around?
Will i ever move back to canada?
Can i be with a lover with whom i am a student and a master?
Why am i encouraged to shut my mouth
When it gets too close to home?
Why cannot i live in the moment?
In my backyard on a sunday afternoon
When i have the house to myself and i am not
Expending all that energy on fighting with my boyfriend
Is he the one that i will marry?
Why is it so hard to be objective about myself?
Why do i feel cellularly alone?
Am i supposed to live in this crazy city?
Can blindly continued fear-induced regurgitated
Life- denying tradition be overcome?
Where does the money go that i send to those in need?
If we have so much why do some people have nothing still?
Why do i feel frantic when i first wake up in the morning?
Why do you say you are spiritual
Yet you treat people like shit?
How can you say you're close to god
yet you talk behind my back as though i am not
A part of you?
Why do i say i'm fine
When it's obvious i'm not?
Why's it so hard to tell you what i want?
Why can't you just read my mind?
Why do i fear that the quieter i am the less you will listen?
Why do i care whether you like me or not?
Why is it so hard for me to be angry?
Why is it such work to stay conscious and so easy to get stuck
And not the other way around?
Will i ever move back to canada?
Can i be with a lover with whom i am a student and a master?
Why am i encouraged to shut my mouth
When it gets too close to home?
Why cannot i live in the moment?
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Guilty.
It weighs down heavily on you. guilt.
The feeling of "I shouldn't have..."/"I should have...". It picks on you at every moment. whispering in your ears. in your head. sometimes, it's possible to drown it out. push it to the back of your mind. with fun, fun and more fun. inevitably fun has to stop at some point. the guilt comes crashing back.
fighting a losing battle. I admit defeat. guilty.
guilty of...
not smiling more. whining. not laughing more. taking things for granted. being complacent. not listening. not noticing. not speaking when it matters. not calling. taking things for granted. not asking. not taking the initiative. just following the flow. taking things for granted. making assumptions. pretending. not keeping promises. not being assertive when it counts. thinking that i'd always be lucky; get my way. being caustic. being apathetic. taking things too lightly.
guilty of taking things for granted.
life. family. friends. work. love. kind gestures. coincidences. time. knowledge.
all the bits and pieces. big and small. i've stopped being amazed. i've stopped being in awe. i've stopped being cheered by lil things.
sigh...
I have stopped being Happy Ping. and that Most of all saddens me.
The feeling of "I shouldn't have..."/"I should have...". It picks on you at every moment. whispering in your ears. in your head. sometimes, it's possible to drown it out. push it to the back of your mind. with fun, fun and more fun. inevitably fun has to stop at some point. the guilt comes crashing back.
fighting a losing battle. I admit defeat. guilty.
guilty of...
not smiling more. whining. not laughing more. taking things for granted. being complacent. not listening. not noticing. not speaking when it matters. not calling. taking things for granted. not asking. not taking the initiative. just following the flow. taking things for granted. making assumptions. pretending. not keeping promises. not being assertive when it counts. thinking that i'd always be lucky; get my way. being caustic. being apathetic. taking things too lightly.
guilty of taking things for granted.
life. family. friends. work. love. kind gestures. coincidences. time. knowledge.
all the bits and pieces. big and small. i've stopped being amazed. i've stopped being in awe. i've stopped being cheered by lil things.
sigh...
I have stopped being Happy Ping. and that Most of all saddens me.
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Tahi-tahi ayam..
and So I got diverted from my "tahi tahi ayam" enthusiam to read up on Neuroanatomy tonight...
by blog-hopping...arrgghh!!!! *pulls out hair*
It's so addictive. A friend tells you about one blog. Then the curious you went to check it out. Low and behold, it's actually very interesting and you spend ages reading it. and of course, the interesting blogger has some friends that were mentioned in the posts. Since, the blogger is interesting, the friends must be interesting as well, rite?? interest piqued...
You check out the links section. uh Oh...got links to the Interesting friends.
*die die die* like a moth to fire, you want to stay away but you just can't. Everytime the site loads, you get a happy feeling inside you, like a kid looking on as the nice lady scoops out ice-cream for her. The more you read, the more piqued you get. Positive feedback is bad for you, you know. *SIGH* In the very very end, you stop struggling and say "heck care!"..and before long, it's now 1.13am and I have yet to read past two pages of Neuromanatomy.
Gawd!! urrggh, wake up girl!! How can you be so weak??
A little voice says," but I am only human."
and I wonder why I get offended when people say that I am the slackest medic.
*wry smile*
It's very dangerous because it's easier to accept a Tag than to prove that it's wrong.
You get comfortable in your comfort zone. cookies, drinks, cheese, remote control all within arm's length. Why move?
"Oi, you lazy dumbass!! move lar.."
Little voice in head, "awww..but i am not a lazy dumbass wor." *hurt*
Makes effort to move...aiya so difficult. after moving, no more food near me and no longer comfortable. how????
Little voice in head, " never mind, just accept the Tag. It's fine. Doesn't matter..They don't really know you, really. really."
And thus, you open another packet of crisps and switch the channel to Sky Sports.
*burp* *scratch scratch* *contented*
All thoughts earlier about changing and being better and avoiding the Tag was buried at the back of the brain. behind ...behind where no one can see it including the Head's owner itself.
So much easier to cheat oneself and to lower one's standards. and the vicious cycle repeats itself again and again in every aspect of one's life. Till, you just become a smelly lump of green Moss.
Okay. End of story. Moral of story: To NOT be a MOSS.
So, to not be a Moss, I must go study neuro now. :)
1.29am. sigh.
by blog-hopping...arrgghh!!!! *pulls out hair*
It's so addictive. A friend tells you about one blog. Then the curious you went to check it out. Low and behold, it's actually very interesting and you spend ages reading it. and of course, the interesting blogger has some friends that were mentioned in the posts. Since, the blogger is interesting, the friends must be interesting as well, rite?? interest piqued...
You check out the links section. uh Oh...got links to the Interesting friends.
*die die die* like a moth to fire, you want to stay away but you just can't. Everytime the site loads, you get a happy feeling inside you, like a kid looking on as the nice lady scoops out ice-cream for her. The more you read, the more piqued you get. Positive feedback is bad for you, you know. *SIGH* In the very very end, you stop struggling and say "heck care!"..and before long, it's now 1.13am and I have yet to read past two pages of Neuromanatomy.
Gawd!! urrggh, wake up girl!! How can you be so weak??
A little voice says," but I am only human."
and I wonder why I get offended when people say that I am the slackest medic.
*wry smile*
It's very dangerous because it's easier to accept a Tag than to prove that it's wrong.
You get comfortable in your comfort zone. cookies, drinks, cheese, remote control all within arm's length. Why move?
"Oi, you lazy dumbass!! move lar.."
Little voice in head, "awww..but i am not a lazy dumbass wor." *hurt*
Makes effort to move...aiya so difficult. after moving, no more food near me and no longer comfortable. how????
Little voice in head, " never mind, just accept the Tag. It's fine. Doesn't matter..They don't really know you, really. really."
And thus, you open another packet of crisps and switch the channel to Sky Sports.
*burp* *scratch scratch* *contented*
All thoughts earlier about changing and being better and avoiding the Tag was buried at the back of the brain. behind ...behind where no one can see it including the Head's owner itself.
So much easier to cheat oneself and to lower one's standards. and the vicious cycle repeats itself again and again in every aspect of one's life. Till, you just become a smelly lump of green Moss.
Okay. End of story. Moral of story: To NOT be a MOSS.
So, to not be a Moss, I must go study neuro now. :)
1.29am. sigh.
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Happy sun-shiny day!
Huge sigh of relief..
My worst week ever has ended finally. I woke up this morning feeling happy, floaty, bubbly and light *GRIN*
I could blame the past horrible week on PMS. I hated myself for the whole of last week. Ugly. Useless. Stupid. A Mess. Confused. Needy. Guilty. *SIGH*
As they say, there's no smoke without fire. I never ever had PMS before. My whole life was just happy or just comfortable throughout. Thank you, you evil evil hormones for making me face my problems and my mess sooner, rather than later.
That said, I've decided and taken action on some things that have been hanging over my head for the past month. My mess was making me yo-yo from feeling really happy to being really confused.
There's now closure and moving on.
*GRIN*
My worst week ever has ended finally. I woke up this morning feeling happy, floaty, bubbly and light *GRIN*
I could blame the past horrible week on PMS. I hated myself for the whole of last week. Ugly. Useless. Stupid. A Mess. Confused. Needy. Guilty. *SIGH*
As they say, there's no smoke without fire. I never ever had PMS before. My whole life was just happy or just comfortable throughout. Thank you, you evil evil hormones for making me face my problems and my mess sooner, rather than later.
That said, I've decided and taken action on some things that have been hanging over my head for the past month. My mess was making me yo-yo from feeling really happy to being really confused.
There's now closure and moving on.
*GRIN*
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