It weighs down heavily on you. guilt.
The feeling of "I shouldn't have..."/"I should have...". It picks on you at every moment. whispering in your ears. in your head. sometimes, it's possible to drown it out. push it to the back of your mind. with fun, fun and more fun. inevitably fun has to stop at some point. the guilt comes crashing back.
fighting a losing battle. I admit defeat. guilty.
guilty of...
not smiling more. whining. not laughing more. taking things for granted. being complacent. not listening. not noticing. not speaking when it matters. not calling. taking things for granted. not asking. not taking the initiative. just following the flow. taking things for granted. making assumptions. pretending. not keeping promises. not being assertive when it counts. thinking that i'd always be lucky; get my way. being caustic. being apathetic. taking things too lightly.
guilty of taking things for granted.
life. family. friends. work. love. kind gestures. coincidences. time. knowledge.
all the bits and pieces. big and small. i've stopped being amazed. i've stopped being in awe. i've stopped being cheered by lil things.
sigh...
I have stopped being Happy Ping. and that Most of all saddens me.
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1 comment:
Hmmmm? u ok or not? :)
i'm sure u don't really take things for granted...just that u don't have the time to realise u appreciate all that u have! which isn't the same thing at all!
having said that, i wouldn't mind gettin a call from you one of these days *muahahah*
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