(unknown)

I have to live with myself and so I want to be fit for myself to know.

I want to be as days go by, able to look myself straight in the eye.

I don't want to stand with the setting sun and think of things I have or haven't done.

I want to go out with my head erect.

I want to deserve all men's respect, I want to be able to like myself.

I don't want to look at myself and know that I'm a bluster, a bluff and an empty show.

I can never hide myself from me. I see what others may never see.

I know what others may never know.

I can never fool myself and so whatever happens, I want to be self-respecting and conscience free.

I remembered copying this down earlier this year but as with all my ridzuan things, it has been set aside. Chapter closed.

It can never be called a poem, no.. no such grand title for it. It's simple. no big fancy-pansy words. no stretching the poetic license. no beautiful imagery conjured. no melody to its words.

But.. it's relatable. Understood. to live by our conscience. to be true to oneself. to not make lies or excuses to oneself. to be respected and respect oneself. to have no regrets. blah..blah...

to be our own person and be proud of it.
How easy/hard is that to do. We have to live up to our family's expectations. to live up to our friends' acceptance. to live up to our society's perception. How much we've changed ourselves to adapt, to conform, to survive. Either willingly or grudgingly. It's after all for the best- safety in similarity, huh? (cynical)

Who am I?

How much is Me and how much is society's, friends', parent's?

Will I ever be only Me? Or is that too selfish, too egoistic...


p.s: Yesterday I was depressed, today I'm ponderous. Tomorrow, I'll be busy.