What makes me, Now?

was pleasantly surprised when I found out that my neglected blog is still garnering new readers. I thought that my blog would have curled up in a corner and died naturally due to neglect. I had Intended for my blog to die as I decided to be all grown up and stop spewing my feelings out in the open. How arrogant is That and in an ironic twist, immature! ;)

So, at this moment at 1.00am, I am resurrecting it again. *chants, rolls eyes heavenward, dances around a fire and thumps chest*

The reasons for resurrection are simple: my self-reflective memory lectures, Amy Tan's 'The Bonesetter's Daughter' book, missing writing so badly that it aches, needing to keep in touch. Whatever the initial reasons were, perhaps just sheer vanity, I am really glad that I decided to read it again. :)

The old posts allowed me to understand where I came from, who I was and how did I become who I am Now. There was a sense of connection and familiarity with this girl who was previously me, yet there was a sense of curiosity and unfamiliarity about her, the old me.

"What makes/made me, Now?"

My previous decisions/experiences made me, Now but my memories makes me, Now. Without memories, what makes a man? What could you base your current decisions on? There is no good/bad feelings to fall back on to make current decisions. Even our 'gut feelings' are based on previous experiences. Do we become friends because of the past we share? Do we still love each other because we remembered how it was like in the beginning? Do we become who we are now because our previous actions landed us here and now? Without the ability to remember or to keep memories, there is no continuity with the past and no continuity into the future. Ironically, my blog description is about taking me as I am NOW, it's all about making the most of A Moment.

A moment, encapsulated is perhaps what I was searching for. :)