Delaying packing

I know that I have to finish packing really soon. I started today with one measly box and my efforts just stopped there.

Plain as day, I am just procrastinating as usual. Deep down inside, I know that I am delaying it because I'll get reflective as I am packing. I'll think about the highs and lows and I Know that I might just burst into tears at some point. So, my strategy is to delay it till the very last minute and then have a last minute packing which would not allow me any time to reflect back.

It'll be painful to reflect. So many things have gone right this year and so many things haven't as well. The good moments are aplenty. I would single out watching the sunrise at Castle Mound at 3.30am as the BEST moment ever. It was sheer beauty. Standing at the top overlooking Cambridge and slowly watching see Cambridge come to light. *wistful* The single Worst moment that I have had is during the middle of Tripos when I just got really really depressed. I blame it on stress screwing up my Pms. But that moment made me realize that there are so many things that I wish are different. Thinking of all the "what if"s if I made an effort to change them made me even more depressed. I managed to supressed all the depression to get through the rest of Tripos and after that I have been having fun since. No time to sit down to think. Now, I guess there's no more running and it's time to open Pandora's box again.

On another note, I went to my coll bar today. This guy started being overly friendly to me and I was surprised. After a few sentences, I finally found that he just broke up with his girlfriend yesterday and his ex-girlfriend was just sitting right behind me. Yup. Trying to make his ex-girlfriend jealous. Awkward moment. What an ass. Thank God after a while, he went away and I went to talk to his ex-girlfriend. Urrggh, I don't want to get caught in between any mess especially when I am just trying to feel my way among my coll mates. sigh, disappointed once again.Plus, just found out this week that a friend of mine broke up. A friend who is idealistic and whom I always thought that if this friend started any relationship, it'll definitely last. That kind of friend. For this friend to have found someone, I was really happy for my friend. It's kind of proof that it could be done. Now, my friend broke up. A million things could go wrong and it's so fragile and it's so unattainable. There's so many hurdles to go through. From the period of finding someone that you like, from the period of "tackling" the person, from the "honeymoon" period, from the trying to fit each other period, from the settled/boring period with "distractions". So much effort to make it last. Even typing all the hurdles down is a chore, not counting those miles apart. Hats off to those maintaining a long distance relationship. Thank you for showing me that it's doable. =)