Digging myself into a grave...

I have SO SO SO SO SO SO SO much work to do...arrrrrggghhh!!!!!!!!

just to release stress. not to worry anyone. Brought this upon myself with all the procrastinating.. don't have to pity me. better yet, shout it to my face loudly, "Serves me right!" that'll be ideal..probably i'll start working consistently..*continues to moan*

on a happier note, will be going back to penang this summer. finally, i have decided and will pay for my flight ticket in a few days time. back to sunshine, wearing sandals and shorts, shopping in Vincci, Padini..etc, eating spicy food..*yum*, talking to my parents about nothing and everything in particular, meet up with friends- sec school, taylors, cambridge..etc.. and eat eat eat eat eat eat eat. how could i Not get fat when i return? the food is gorgeous and there's no cold weather to burn off my fat..sigh.. i am glad that i decided to go home after all the indecisiveness and the "i am tough, i don't need home persona." this is making me really really really happy!!! looking forward to tons of things!!

i am so Happy at the prospect at going home that i NOW wonder WHY in the first place, I could forgo going back. *puzzled* Haha..well i thought that i know myself well enough. Turns out, I have just been cheating to myself, i wouldn't exactly be miserable if i stayed back but i wouldn't exactly be happy either. Not being very true to myself am i? but then again, how many of us are actually true to ourselves? Do we really know who we are or do we only know who we want to be? that's a large difference, no? It's often easier to know who we Want to be rather than the former because truth hurts, especially the ones which we admit to ourselves. and we will struggle to keep finding excuses to keep the nagging feeling away that we are So wrong bout ourselves. well.. i am just speaking about myself. if you are remarkably well-adjusted and completely true to yourself, tell me which shrink you see ya? cause i think i need one.


sigh.lazy lazy lazy lazy. hate myself..uuurrghh.. lay ping, Study!!

p.s: it's the stress. i am normally a nice person to myself, aren't i not? Ping are you listening? I am, aren't i? Ping??!!!!..*grinning maniacally*